Friday, 24 July 2009

What do you know, its the end of the week again.

A Maths test sucked but shall not cry over spilt milk (:
And boy Im really glad I went to maths remedial yesterday. If not, today's test = fail.

Oh yeah, Zhi Hong and Yi Chou were the epic jokers for today man.
I still can remember yi chou saying "不管多久, 我都会等你的!" to Tzu Chun.
I think they had to stay back and write a reflection on their actions LOL.

Tests are coming up in the next few weeks. Omgggggggggg.

Nothing much so I'll post something to keep you occupied.


Three Explorers Choose Their Deaths
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker are exploring the jungle
and are captured by a fierce tribe.

The chief tells them, "The bad news is that we've caught you, we're
going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good
news is that you get to choose how you die."

The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some poison;
the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down.

The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol;
the Brit points it at his head, says, "God save the Queen!" and blows his brains out.

The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and
gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and jabs himself all over --
the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. Blood gushes from every hole.

The chief screams, "What are you doing?"

The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, "So much for your canoe, a**hole!"










A nine-year old boy goes into the grocery store,
grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register.
The cashier asks, "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"

"Nope," says the boy, "not for my mom."

The cashier responds, "Well, then they must be for your sister then?"

"Nope," says the boy, "not for my sister, neither."

The cashier is now curious, "Oh. Not for your mom
and not for your sister -- then who are they for?"

The nine-year-old says, "They're for my little brother.
They say on TV, if you wear one of these, you can swim and ride a bike,
and my little brother can't do either of those things."








A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and
a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

"I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife,"
he tells the doctor, "when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.
We went to look for it, and I noticed one of the cows had something
white in its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and
sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball stuck right in the cow's butt.
That's when I made my mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, as I was standing there holding up the tail, I yelled to my wife,
'Hey, this looks like yours!'"







A policeman pulls a driver over for swerving in and out of lanes
on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer.

"I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack
if I blow into that tube."

"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station."

"Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar
if I pee in a cup."

"Alright, we could get a blood sample."

"Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could
die."

"Fine then, just walk along this white line."

"Can't do that either, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."









Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals.
The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial.
The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the
same kind of fruit.

So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king
then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without
any expression on your face or you'll be eaten." The first apple went in... but on the
second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed. The second one arrived and showed
the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself
that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he
burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh?
You almost got away with it." The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third
guy coming with pineapples."


And some joke pictures to end off with..











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