Catch A Crab

--->See this.<<--- That happened at the junction right outside my home. That morning, I thought it was a small accident when my dad drove past it. Then I realised that it wasnt when it appeared on The Electric New Paper today. (PS I got read the news ok! House never order ST so read online.) Man, poor girl died. According to my parents, the reckless driver went ahead even though it was Red. I hate it how innocent people bear the brunt of other people's mistakes. I mean the driver could pay the kid's parents as compensation or make a public apology but the girl won't come back. If you read the article, you'll find that the girl is pretty talented. Also, I almost got into an accident just now when I was making my way home. My blood is boiling just as Im speaking about this. I was walking out of the school's gate and was crossing the road. The road was clear and I saw a bicycle coming from the other side of the road.

Black arrows : Direction of road
Orange arrows : Direction the person is travelling to

So basically, I knew that there was a bicycle coming so I carried on walking following the middle line down while waiting for that asshole to pass.



But that asshole didnt just pass. HE WHIZZED BY ME.
THE DISTANCE BETWEEN THEM AND ME WAS LIKE HOW FAR APART OUR SITTING PARTNERS ARE IN CLASS.

If he had gotten any closer I would have been knocked down.
Not only that, that fucking sucker at the back was screeching as if he was Fernando Alonso (THANK GOD HE ISNT).

Yes. HE SCREECHED INTO MY EAR. OPERA SUCKER.
AND HE MADE A FACE AT ME AS THEY PASSED.

Then the 2 suckers whizzed down the road as I started cursing that they crash into a car.

Actually, I saw how close they were coming and was preparing to knock both of them down instead of them knocking me down. (But I didnt cos I was thinking about the accident)

Reason : They were hooligans. Well not really, but still.
I mean the rider was smoking (our age) and the bitch riding pillion was yelling as if he had been castrated.
Also, they were Malays. You know those good for nothing retards? Yep those.

Screw better-off-dead malays. (Im not being racist. People like Faiz are better off living.)


Learning point : Next time a bicycle is charging towards you like a bull, do not panic and follow these steps.

Step 1 : Prepare to jump backwards. (Do it when they're like 1-3 metres away from you.)
Step 2 : Prepare to stick your arm out. Those suckers wont see it coming.
Step 3 : Use all your might to lock your arm in place. They'll fly like the wind.

In a nutshell, Back-track, Arms out, Lock.
NOTE: DO NOT PANIC! IT'LL ONLY ADD TO THEIR THRILL.

I'd recommend you doing only to those who really deserve it.
Move fast, strike hard, laugh.

Stay tuned for more Getting-back-at-suckers guides!

EDIT.

If you're feeling up to it, you can ignore the whole guide I wrote above and instead, USE YOUR FEET.
Demo :


It'll make him lose control of it and as he struggles to stablise himself, YOU CAN TAKE OFF >:)
And laugh at his pathetic state from a distance.

But...